improving communication with your teen |
Do you feel like your teen just doesn't want to talk to you? Do you sometimes feel so estranged from your teen that you don't know how to talk to them anymore or what to talk to them about?
Below are suggestions to help improve your communication (and your relationship) with your teen:
1. Listen to your teen. Listening is an act of love. Everyone wants to be listened to. We love the attention, the feeling of being valued, and feeling important enough for someone to care to listen to what we have to say. Listening to your teen with your undivided attention and concentration demonstrates to your teen that you love and care for them.
2. Listen for understanding. The teen years are a time of turmoil and change. This is a time when your child needs you more than ever to be there for them. By listening, you can better understand the issues of importance to your child and the problems and challenges they may be facing. The more you understand your teen's challenges and feelings, the better you will be able to help them.
3. Improve your listening skills. Most people need to learn how to listen with their undivided attention. Follow the guidelines below to improve your listening skills:
5. Avoid nagging and lecturing. Nobody likes to be nagged or lectured to, especially on a regular basis. A steady stream of nagging, lecturing and negative criticism will stifle communication with your teen. Instead focus on being encouraging, supportive and positive. For example, if your teen has a fight with a friend, this is not the time to say, "I never liked that friend anyway!" That is a communication stopper. A more supportive and effective response would be, "Sometimes friends fight. Hopefully the two of you will be able to work it out. Do you want to talk about it?"
