tips for single parents |
No one faces daily demands greater than a single parent. Excessive demand is a continuing reality and constant problem for single parents. Burnout, or worse, incapacitating breakdown, are very real dangers for single parents who deplete their energy reserves day after day.
Part of the solution is giving up the notion of “having to go it alone.” These tips may be useful:
1. Set realistic goals for yourself. If you can keep the family, a full-time job, and a household running without frequent disasters, you’re doing very well.
2. Make sure you have a support system in place, and use it. Develop a network of relatives, friends, neighbors or groups like Parents Without Partners. Any responsibility, expense or chore that you can share with someone else will give you time to marshal your forces and be better as a parent, at work and in other areas of your life.
3. Train children to take more individual responsibility. Ask yourself, “What am I routinely doing for my children that they can learn to do for themselves? Then teach them. Remind children that all family members have to work together as a team.
4. Open new avenues for your children to have relationships with caring and stable adults. Children need many sources of adult support and guidance. Clubs, scouting, and Big Brothers, all are sources of capable adults.
5. Share child care responsibilities with friends, neighbors or other single parents. Many single parents take turns watching each other’s children for extended periods so each can have some time off. Friends and neighbors can all chip in for a mutual babysitter to create an open, uninterrupted block of time for rest or activity.
6. Make the children’s bedtime early enough to save some time for yourself. Children must go to bed at your established time, but can read or look at books to promote sleepiness.
7. Find local, affordable babysitters who live nearby. Your local YMCA or city recreation department often offers babysitting classes and certification. Call them for names and phone numbers of reliable sitters who live in your neighborhood to cut down on travel time. If you can afford a helper, consider having a high school student come occasionally to play with younger kids while you help with homework or just have some time to catch up on errands or housework.
8. Take good care of yourself. Pay special attention to diet, exercise, stress management and getting a good night’s sleep. Learn healthy coping skills to relieve stress and tension. Learn meditation or yoga, take a walk, read a book, call a friend, or take a nap. It is critical for your children’s well-being for you to take good care of yourself.
